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Well, that's a lie, I could, but none of thejobs were things I wanted to do. And then, then I found a good job. Itwas in a bar-slash-restaurant; one of those places that has comfybooths, neat little tables, and a great music selection. The staff arealways friendly, the background music is mellow and easy-listening, andthe waitresses always look hot. That kind of place, y'know? But therewas a problem; when I turned up, the manager (a nice guy in a bumblingkind of way), told me I could have the job if I 'sort yourself out,girl. Put on some makeup, do something with that hair, and dress socustomers can actually see you have a body. Do that, and come back, andI'll hire you.'And Piper the girl was born.Everything changed; my apartment, previously a bachelor's dream, becamea place of neatness, of carefully neutral furnishing and decoration. Mybedroom became mostly-filled with girl's clothes, and the bathroomoverflowed with makeup. I began taking care of myself, eating properly,and...things. I’m not sure what she has planned, but I guarantee you will work, and maybe harder than you ever have in your life. What I hope you take from this is an appreciation for what your ancestors had to do every day of their lives.”With that, I turned to the ladies. “Alright, I can tell you right now pj’s ain’t going to make it. So, grab your sturdiest clothes and get ready for work. You’ve got 10 minutes.”They stood there looking back and forth at each other and then me. “Now!” I bellowed, “Move it, Move it. Move it.”I was hard-pressed not to laugh as three cute little fannies scurried for the stairs. It got harder when they were back downstairs, buttoning, zipping, and tying with frightened doe looks on their faces, inside of the designated 10 minutes.“Alright, ladies, follow me.” And like a troop of baby chicks, they followed me out the door.The first stop was the porch. I pointed out the rope guides. One to the outhouse and the other to the corral. The next stop was the corral. When we.
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